Questions I've answered on Thumbtack

How does your service stand out?

I can write or adapt a wedding script on short notice. I am willing to work with any religion or combination of religious/non-religious traditions to create a ceremony that is meaningful for both partners and unique to them. I am also able to offer a completely non-religious ceremony. I have experience with theater and singing so I can incorporate those talents on the fly to prepare a ceremony that has an over all flow. More importantly, I can maintain composure and the appearance of control when the unexpected happens. 

 

What do you enjoy about the work you do? 

I find the chance to help a couple share their intention to be as one, with their friends and family thrilling. I get chills when I rehearse the lines toward the end of a ceremony when I pronounce the couple married, and when I present them for the first time as a couple.

 

How did you get started doing this type of work?

Marriage finally became fully equal and legal in California, friends and acquaintances wanted to get married. Many of them had negative memories of church from childhood, others were in mixed religion relationships. Some just wanted to get married but not in a church or a court room. I was researching what it would take for me to get ordained to start officiating when a couple of very good friends asked me to be their best man. I offered to be their back up plan for officiant as well because they were having trouble agreeing on a type of wedding, let alone who to officiate. Long story short both their specific religion choices ended up not working out and with only a few weeks before the date they asked me to step up. When all was said and done, they couldn't believe they'd considered anyone else.

 

 Do you have a standard pricing system for your service? If so, please share the details here.

My contracts have a two(+) payment system (usually an equal fraction plus mileage so far at each step.) At times of payment I like to formally check in with couple to be sure we're happy and moving forward, this is also an appropriate time to end our contract. (All scripts and plans so far would be surrendered to couple to allow them to move forward as easily as possible in the event that our contract is ended.) Notes: I usually expect meetings to be over food, client pays or provides (home made is totally acceptable!) I expect 50 cents a mile for travel to meetings, rehearsals, and ceremony. (If couple will be traveling to my area for their ceremony, "meetings" can be by phone or Skype, and don't require mileage or feeding me.) First payment at end of first meeting, if and only if we decide to move forward. (confirms that I am ready to start creating/editing/planing details of ceremony before next meeting.) Second payment after two hours of in person consultation on script or blocking of ceremony (or after those tasks appear to be completely done if done sooner. Said meetings don't usually make sense to be 2 hours long so that's actually multiple meetings.) (Rehearsal payment: formal rehearsal is optional, it increases cost by about 1/3 from base quote if it wasn't already included. I also hope to eat at the rehearsal dinner.) Ceremony payment (Last payment) after ceremony, before signatures on license. I hope to eat at the reception. By the way, I consider eating with my couples a chance to get to know them a little better socially and as such I consider this to be an important part of creating a connection that will enhance our interaction in the ceremony.

 

What types of customers have you worked with?

Meet with couple to check the fit regarding our collaboration to create the ceremony of the couples dreams/needs. (Initial meeting free) Consult on location and flow of ceremony. Research ceremony traditions appropriate to the couple's desires. Blend different traditions into one ceremony. Write and/or adapt a script for ceremony. Edit the ceremony to fit the needs of the couple and their guests. Offer creative suggestions for parts of the ceremony. Provide support with writing of personal vows. General hand holding to plan the ceremony (even including help with getting the license.) Sing a song as part of ceremony (a capela, to a track, or to live instrumentalist, also able to sing part of ceremony in style of a Cantor.) Arrive early to ceremony site, coordinate wedding party, ushers and key guests.

 

What advice would you give a customer looking to hire a provider in your area of work?

Since this will usually be a public ceremony for the benefit of the guests, you really should be sure you like the voice of your officiant, just as much as being able to work with him to pin down what you want him to say and do. Knowing that your officiant can read and correctly pronounce the level of vocabulary you want in your ceremony is important, but it's also true that the officiant will be speaking to the crowd, setting the mood and helping the two of you tell your story. Some of that story is a narrative, some is actually a pantomime. Some is just literal story telling and some is better conveyed with symbolism. Quite frankly you would be well served to consider someone with a good speaking voice and maybe even a theater background. Yes, I am setting up that I have trained as a voice actor, and done some stage acting, as well as been a teacher. My public speaking and story telling skills are pretty darn good. I'm also good at recognizing that a ceremony is like theater. Your guests are already invested in the main characters (Duh, they're your friends and family, they care enough to show up for you.) but they are also looking to be entertained and maybe share a memorable moment with you. I can help with that.

 

Describe a recent project you are fond of. How long did it take?

Starting on a Tuesday, I put together the ceremony for Greg and Jeff who were getting married that Saturday. The majority of the script was settled within an hour. By Friday I had found and researched two options for a "symbolic act of unity" one was a simple hand fasting as Jeff is Wiccan, the other was to blend two colors of sand into one clear glass container to make one thing of beauty that represents their unity. Ultimately they chose the mixing of sand as Jeff wanted a much more elaborate version of hand fasting than we could prepare over night. Guests were impressed and interested in my services for their own weddings.

 

What education and/or training do you have that relates to your work?

I have taken voice acting classes from MJ Lallo to learn to read a script well.
I taught High School for many years and developed confidence speaking in front of a crowd that may not even be friendly! And I have also learned to pronounce many different/difficult names easily.
I research the cultural traditions that are appropriate and required of a couple after first meeting once contract is started. For instance, I am currently brushing up on the structure and flow of Catholic style ceremonies to accommodate the demand. My incomplete minor in World/Art History taught me the research techniques I need for that. (Though I wonder why there is a demand, considering only a recognized Catholic priest can perform a Catholic wedding and that is only a Catholic wedding if it is actually performed inside an actual Catholic Church. So I would think the best way to get that is to approach someone at the local Catholic Church. My clients do admit they only want the style though.)

Two weddings in November.

I was honored to officiate at two weddings in November.
Both were based on a Catholic wedding structure, but the similarity mostly ends there.

The first one completed was for a mixed faith couple. The groom was a lightweight Catholic of Philippine  descent, his bride's ancestry was Korean Buddhist. I had the pleasure of watching many of the Buddhist rituals in the short version of a wedding ceremony that honored her faith and family before the western ritual that I was to officiate. It was a beautiful ceremony.
After a short break for the wedding party to change change their attire while the crowd reassembled outside for the second ceremony, I led the wedding party down the aisle to the western ceremony space. At their request I substituted prayers with a Buddhist flavor into the western ceremony and wrote a narration about the light of Gods love and the cycle of family love for the candle lighting as a symbol of unity. I read the narration as the parents of the couple tried to light their candles to start the process. The wind was just enough to prevent this. So as I finished reading the written narration, I realized that either this was going to take longer than expected or it might fail. I quickly thought up a few more bits of wisdom about how sometimes love doesn't seem to be going as planned but if we persevere and don't give up it usually does work out. ( I was hoping the candles would cooperate and make my words true. I'd be lying if I claimed they did.) The rest of the ceremony went very well.
Afterward I was complimented on the "ad lib" that it was well spoken and added to the moment. (My past experience in front of crowds of unwilling teenagers has its rewards! Now I'm good with keeping my cool and thinking on my feet because.)
This couple wrote their own vows which were very moving. I only had to help the groom with printing them out bigger and in shorter lines to make reading them easier as he was prone to tear up a little. Their vows were quite beautiful.

The second one was for a couple who had both been married before and had the teenage and young adult children to prove it. For their ceremony we went with a symbol of unity that involved the children who were also going to be the wedding party. I had the bride and groom face the audience and hold hands then offer their free hand to their eldest child who offered their free hands down the line to the youngest child. Then I had those two join their free hands to complete a circle.  I wrote a lovely liturgy about how their family shared a love like a circle. Never ending and always connected. That even when they were far apart that circle would still be there for them.
When it came to exchanging of the rings, I blessed the rings as a reminder of that circle.
For vows this couple wanted me to stay closer to the catholic liturgy and to lead them through the vows. That was a lovely moment.

November has been a great month for me and weddings. I still get chills when I think about the special moments of which I was chosen to be a part.

Another First!

I got up really early on a recent Friday Morning.
Yes, I meant to.

I had a wedding to perform on the beach at sunrise.
The couple wanted a quick ceremony at the very top of the weekend to move their relationship to the next level.
It would be just the three of us in the early morning twilight.
Amy and Tim found me on Thumbtack.com.
She and I had talked and pared down the wedding ceremony to the bare minimum length, with just enough mention of our Lord to make it clear this is a Christian ceremony.
A quick introduction.
I'd prompt each them to share their vows.
I'd ask the "I do" question of each of them.
I'd guide them through the exchange of rings.
Then I'd get to pronounce them Husband and Wife.

So, I got up early, really early.
Since I planned to come back after and go back to sleep.
I left my morning tea for later.
I put on my pants, shoes, shirt with the collar, and my cassock, and then my cross.
The smaller sliver and crystal cross.
I had hoped it would catch the light of the rising sun just right.

I got in my car and it was still fairly dark out.
There were no stars visible though.
By the time I got the the beach there was a general glow to the cloudy sky.
I hadn't planned on the effect of the classic marine layer we experience here.
The morning air was cool and crisp.

I saw my couple in the distance.
We met up, said a brief hello, and walked out onto the sand.
The ceremony was beautiful and poignant.
Their vows were heartfelt and touching.
Then I spoke that line and they were married.
(Well except for the paper work.)

We walked back off the beach toward there car to sign the license.
We had to pause for Amy to put her shoes back on.
Tim, lightheartedly cajoling her that the ceremony was quicker.

Back at their car I signed the license and it was official.
(Except it needed to be filled with the county.)

It was a beautiful reason to get up so early.
Being able to make the brides wish for a sunrise beach wedding come true was well worth getting up so early.

My only disappointment was that the change in the morning light was so subtle it went unnoticed.

A prayer.

For the Animists, Celtic pagans, and others who value the forest.

Prayer of the Woods
"I am the heat of your Hearth on the cold winter nights, the friendly shade screening you from the summer sun, and my fruits are refreshing draughts quenching your thirst as you journey on."
"I am the beam that holds your house, the board of your table, the bed on which you lie, and the timber that builds your boat."
I am the handle of your hoe, the door of your homestead, the wood of your cradle, and the shell of your coffin."
"I am the bread of kindness and the flower of beauty."
Ye how pass by, listen to my prayer:
"Harm me not"

First Wedding Ceremony. WOW!

This past Saturday I performed my very first Wedding Ceremony.

What a amazing thrill!

It was for my long time friends Greg and Jeff.

They Share my love of Disney, and are also fans of Halloween.
Jeff started wearing kilts two years ago when I encouraged him to buy one.


They were constant advocates and protesters for Equal Marriage Rights and wanted their ceremony to be on the beautiful court house steps where they had so often protested for the cause.



Their desire was for a ceremony full of personal meaning and symbolism, maybe a little bit of spirituality, but not at all a religious event.

And to include their pit bull Leia.























Hearing that Jeff was concerned that important members of his chosen families might not be able to show up for the wedding, I took a chance and contacted a few directly to make sure they didn't miss the event. With that I ended up picking up one couple on my way to the location.

There was a point in the recent months of planing (or  more accurately waiting to plan) where I was concerned if this event would even happen. Greg had been quite ill and wasn't willing to plan or commit to an event he might have to miss. But once he felt better, they were able to plan the event with only a two week notice. I was able to craft most of the language of their ceremony the Tuesday before the ceremony. With a few quick discussions on Thursday and Friday I was able to script the language for their symbolic act of unity to be included, just in time for a ceremony Saturday afternoon.

Even on such short notice this event was really a touching affair.

My first photo in my cassock.

So today is Sunday, the eighth day since I was ordained by the Universal Life Church Monastery.
As part of my spiritual growth today I explored and meditated upon the meaning of religious symbols.


Like the ones above that are included on the website of my greater organization.
I was reminded how important symbols are in our human understanding of the universe in which we reside. And at the same time I was impressed with the variety and quantity of different beliefs in our world.